Hi there!!

•December 5, 2011 • Leave a Comment

its been forever since my last post – 1 1/2 yrs ago!!  i’ve been wanting to write, but can never find the time.  so now i’m on a business trip and figured that i have the time now – so why not give it a go!  there’s been so many times that i wanted to get my thoughts out there, but was just going through so much that i didn’t know how.  but all of that is behind me now – thank goodness!  this is all still so new to me, but its a start.  i need something to get my thoughts and feelings out there.  don’t get me wrong…i have many people that i can confide in, but sometimes i feel that once i start talking about something that’s going on with me – it jumps to what’s going on with them.  i guess because i’m a listener and people closest to me value my opinion and trust in what i say.  which, for the most part, i feel the same toward them, but lately i’ve been holding back.  i don’t know why, but sometimes i feel that what they have going on is so much more important than me.  but anyway, for those of you that read this – i want you to know that i appreciate you! 

i’m so exhausted right now….but i hope to post again soon.

Starvation Diet?

•April 5, 2010 • 1 Comment

So the question is “why do some women have their husbands on a starvation diet of once a week or less?” 

Didn’t seem like you posed the question asking for advice, but mostly for my opinion.  To tell u the truth – it never crossed my mind that this would be my first topic, since it can be such a controversial one in my opinion.  OK maybe not “controversial” but definitely an opinionated subject at times.  And what I mean by that is men and women (not all, but most) don’t look at sex the same way.  It’s almost like sex to men is conversation for women.  The more sex a man has – the more fulfilled satisfied they feel.  But on the other side of it – the more a woman can really conversate with her partner – the more fulfilled satisfied she is. OK – maybe “fulfilled” is not the word I’m looking for, but drawing a blank right now. Better yet – Let me explain.

In the beginning of most relationships – there’s the physical attraction, which is why there’s a lot of sex (usually).  As the relationship grows – so does the friendship.  And while the friendship is growing – the couple starts sharing more of their lives with one another.  The more they share – the more comfortable they feel together.  After a while, the woman feels so comfortable that sex may not be on her mind as much as it used to.  Reason being is that now she’s looking for more mental satisfaction than physical.  Whereas – the man is still looking for the physical satisfaction and is thinking that why shouldn’t he be just as physically satisfied as he used to be.  That’s it – “Satifaction” was the word I was looking for instead of “fulfilled!!!!!  (OK – fixed it!)

Not saying that it’s always this way, but have come across this situation quite a few times in my life.  There are also those other circumstances that there are women out there that do this to their men “just because”.  To feel that they are in full control of their relationship and claim to be the “Boss”.  Or there are other times where the woman feels a certain way about sex due to the way they were raised.  It can be due to religion, or certain morals that were imposed, or it can just plainly be their self esteem.  There are so many different factors that come into play – that you can’t be so cut and dry with this subject.  At least that’s the way I see it. 

“I don’t believe any woman should be forced to have sex against her will, but explain to me why women have no conscience about forcing her husband to do WITHOUT SEX AGAINST HIS WILL?”  Being a woman and a wife – I totally agree with this statement and that no matter which of these afore mentioned situations might be the reason, it’s not fair for the man to satisfy himself or do without.  This is a complete double standard.  Not to mention if the situation were reversed – the woman would not like it either!  This is why the woman should definitely talk to her husband and be open and honest with what the issue is so they can try to work things out.  After all, isn’t that what marriage is about anyway?  Working things out?  That way he can have a better understanding of “Why?”.  Just remember the same goes for the husband too!  Just because a wife might hold out doesn’t mean that she’s the one that needs to bring the topic to the table.  A husband should be able to talk to his wife about whatever issue may be bothering him.  

Well – you asked my opinion and I gave it.  Hope this helps – or at least helps to see another point of view.  Let me know if you agree – or disagree.  I always believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion.  Have a great day!

What’s your Dilemma?

•April 3, 2010 • 7 Comments

Well here I go!  My first Blog ever!  Never been much of a writer – actually always hated writing, but this is somewhat different (in my opinion).  Or at least that’s what I’m hoping for?!?!  It’s more like talking to someone than writing an essay or report – is what I mean.  So I tell you all this because I may be grammatically incorrect at times, but I’m not doing this to be some type of author or anything.  Actually I’m kinda surprised that I’ve decided to do this at all!  For those of you that do know me – I kind of have a hard time explaining myself at times.  So why am I doing this – you ask? 

I’ve been told from my family and friends that I give pretty good advice.  Really good unbiased/sound advice.  Never being judgemental even when you would think that I would be.  In my opinion, if someone is coming to me for advice – then why should I judge them?  They are not looking for someone to judge them, but at the same time – I’m not there to pacify them either.  I have my opinions, my morals that I live by – which is where most of my advice comes from.  I always try to be as real as I can be and more than anything else – be honest with my feelings.  Think about it – what good is advice if you don’t really believe it yourself?  But more importantly – what good is asking for advice if you don’t really want to listen?  I guess that’s how I give advice – by listening and not just telling my opinion on a subject that I know nothing about.

So one day, a couple of people told me that I should have an advice column.  I thought “Advice Column!  They must be crazy!”  But then the more I thought about it – it wasn’t such a bad idea. 

So if you are in need of some advice or just need someone to listen……..I’m here for you.  That is if you need advice on relationships, marriage, family matters, parenting, teenagers, kids, friendships … pretty much anything but financial matters.  Sorry – can’t help with any financial matters!  Hope to hear from you soon!